Always be ready to give someone else a reason for your hope....

"Always be ready to give someone else a reason for your hope." This was the line fed to me many times over the years, as I continued being involved in the ministry field. As I sat and worked on paperwork at my internship this afternoon, this line popped back into my head again, and I decided I needed to share the reasoning behind my hope and the source of my hardwork and perseverance through all that life has thrown at me lately. So...below is my personal testimony. Please read and enjoy, and feel free to share some of your own stories and experiences as well.

Who am I? I’m a woman of God, a sister, a daughter, a friend. I’m a singer and actress, runner, and a lover of the outdoors. I’m a simple person and enjoy making a difference in the lives of others. I like making people smile. Most importantly, I’m a Christian-Catholic. While I have no radical story or conversion experience to show how I fell in love with my faith, there have still been many small steps taken along the way that have helped my transformation.
I was born into a good Catholic family. My parents always made sure that my brother, sister, and I went to church, on every Sunday and holy day. I loved going to Mass, even as a young child. When we used to attend Mass on Saturday nights, my mom would use Mass as bargaining tool with me, saying that if I didn’t take my nap in the afternoon, I couldn’t go to Mass in the evening. Apparently, after this threat, I would be asleep in only a matter of minutes.
Patterns similar to this one continued for many years. While my family still attended Mass on a regular basis, it began losing meaning for me. I was coming into my early teenage years, and I began to simply “go through the motions” as I attended Mass each weekend and holy day. I didn’t fully understand the great mystery of Mass, and why it was so important for us to celebrate it. It wasn’t really until my 6th grade year when I realized that I really had to make my faith become my own, and begin seeking the truth behind all the motions I had been going through. I could no longer live just off of what my family had fed me. As I knelt and prayed in the presence of Jesus in the Holy Sacrament, during adoration and benediction at a Lenten retreat I was on, I began to really take Jesus for myself, and accept Him into my heart. It was at this point that the first was lit, and my real faith journey began.
As I continued through my adolescence and my middle and high school years, my opportunities to grow in my faith were endless. I took many of them, and began growing to really know and love my Catholic faith. I began cantoring and being an altar server for Mass at my church, joined the Teen Ministry Team at NET Ministries, did a lot of volunteering / service work through my church and community, attended many religious retreats and camps, and even served as a Young Apostle at “Steubenville North” in the summer of 2004 and as a Young Apostle College Leader at “Steubenville of the Rockies” in the summer of 2006.
Through these things I really began to realize the importance of a strong personal relationship with Jesus, the importance of a daily prayer life, and how important it is to lead by example and spread God’s love to the world. I was often times happier with myself, and was able to get along better with my family and friends. With my love of my Catholic faith still growing, I felt as if I were really living for something important. While thing were definitely looking up for me, I still continued to struggle and fail in small ways daily….as all human beings do.
As I have grown older, I still participate in many of the activities I mentioned before. However, as I am now an adult out on my own, it as become far easier to let the diligence in faith I once had slip away. I still attend Mass on a regular basis, sing and cantor for a few different parishes, help lead retreats, and love my Catholic faith very much, but as my life has grown more hectic and has been filled with more crazy elements, I have definitely at times lost some of my fire. I often notice myself becoming so caught up in details and struggles of my daily life that I forget to pause and reflect on all of the beautiful gifts that God has given me. Through times of trial and tribulation, I often struggle too much with my own thoughts, feelings, and desires, and have forget to rely totally and completely on God and His never ending compassion, love, grace, and forgiveness.
I realize now, with the love of my Catholic faith still present, but some of the fire gone at times, I need to never stop striving to strengthen my faith and live in God’s love. I need to live for Jesus Christ in my daily life, and need to be a good example of Him to others through my words and actions. Even in desperate times, I need to pause and recognize God’s goodness. As the old saying goes, I need to “walk the walk” and not just “talk the talk.” I realize that without a strong foundation, filled with God’s love and a strong relationship with Him, my life is utterly meaningless. God is everything…faith, hope, love…you name it. Only in God can we call be truly happy.
I’d like to share a quote with you, that I feel really outlines many of the struggles we that we all go through nearly every day. Take a moment to listen, and let it really sink it. It says, “Sometimes it seems like God is hard to find and is impossibly far away. We get so caught up in our small daily duties and irritations that they become the only things we focus on. What we forget is that God’s love and beauty are all around us, every day, if only we would take the time to look up and see them.”
(ad lib) – My “God moment” – stressed about my prayer service for the FYRE retreat –
“God is not a mean daddy. He’s not the kind of daddy that, after you show him a drawing that you’ve worked really hard on says, I’m sorry honey…but the shading’s all wrong.”
In closing, I really want to encourage you all to take step back and look at your faith life. Don’t be afraid to become vulnerable and to let God speak to your heart. Allow Him to come in and change your life. See him in the beauty of creation and in all of life’s simple pleasures. Surround yourself with those who will love and support you every step of the way. This is one of the things that has made the biggest difference for me. Many of my friends, ranging from those I met in elementary school all the way up to graduate school and beyond, have already made a bigger impact on my life than they’ll ever know. Cherish these kind of relationships with others, but also allow God to be the center. Don’t be afraid. Be strong, be bold, and be brave, because only good things can come from the marvelous works of our loving God.

Being Yourself

This poem was recently sent to me by my "little sister." It definitely came at just the right time. Enjoy!

Being Yourself


God loves you as you are, not as you would like to be.
Be clear about this simple fact – there is nothing in your life
over the years that was not a confession of his love;
even the things you despised and disproved of,
The things you wish had never been.
Every moment that you lived, of whatever type it was,
was necessary. There is not one heartbeat,
not one fault or weakness, or frailty or talent or gift,
or pain or sorrow, that you could afford to be without.
To interpret all this as a license to sin
is a total misinterpretation of a most sublime truth.
Your need is the measure of God’s love for you.
Love chose you to be as you are.
You are a unique person. God loves and incarnates
in every moment. You must patiently learn
to accept yourself as you are, and the truth
of your need for God. You must not disparage yourself.
When you do, you are actually questioning the good God!
Should He incarnate His love in the person
you would like to be, and not as you actually are?
It is precisely because you are as His love creates,
that you are fulfilling your mission in life.
It is because you are as you are that He works through you.
If you were the person you would like to be,
you would never exist – somebody else would.
It is as simple as that. So begin a new era in your life
by thanking him for your existence. You are his confession,
made to you alone. Into nobody may enter.
You are God’s secret. Its intimacy is overwhelming.

Why do we do what we do?

This week I've done a lot of reflecting on why we do what we do. We strive to be the best and to put forward our best work possible. We want others to see our strength, our ability to persevere. Yet - we work our hardest to not let others see our faults and also become our own worst critics in the process. For me personally, it seems that the harder I work and more harsh this "critiquing process" becomes, the harder I push myself, and the more stressed out I become. I push myself to the limit, start to feel overwhelmed, and then feel bad when I can't complete it all or do my best at everything. In order to balance this process I often try to take on something else. Why is that? Overall, I think it's going to be important for me personally to take a step back, recognize all the blessing I've been given, and draw on what gives me strength the most.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Giwd-i4QNk

Dear God,

Please send Your blessings down upon me this day. Help me to see the beauty that surrounds me in this beautiful world you have create. Give me a heart of thankfulness and greatfulness, that I may always remember where all of life's good things come from. Amen.

Relfections of a future therapist...part 1

The reflections below are the product of an in-class reflection after we watched a video during one of our classes on gender issues. We watched a video about how females are portrayed in the media, female gender issues, etc. Below are my thoughts:

I have been told my whole life that my curly/fuzzy hair isn't ok. Instead I should have straight, sleek, and shiny hair. I've been told that my olive skin tone / middle-Eastern features aren't ok and that I should have fair skin and lighter more "delicate" features. I'vealso been told that my curvy body make up isn't ok, that I should be more thin and delicate instead. When I was a heavier individual and even sometimes now, I'm told my society that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, and nto worthy of love because I do not fit the so-called perfect mold. I've also been told by society that I am not worthy of finding a good male partner because I don't fit this mold. The world says that I am worthless and not worthy of love because I have chosen to save myself for marriage and am not willing to 'fool around.' As for my future practice, I realize that this could bring about insecurities and uncertainties into my work. If I am not secure within myself, I could cause harm to my future clients. I may also have to help clients dealing with issues similar to my own at the same time. How will I be able to do this if I cannot "conquer the beast" first? How do I put what the world says behind me and move on, in order to be the most effective therapist possible?

Feminine Dignity

Below is a talk that I wrote this past week and am going to give at event for high school girls at a local church tonight. My friend is the youth minister at this church and called me in bind since the speaker she was supposed to have backed out due to a family emergency. I wasn't sure if I would be able to pull something together so quickly, but think it ended up turning out pretty well. It's amazing how God gives you the words to write..... Let me know what you think.

Here's the talk:

How many of you would swoon, grow weak in the knees, and maybe even faint is someone like Justin Bieber, Joe Mauer, or Patrick Dempsey walked into this room right now and told you that you are beautiful? I know I would. I’m sure that I would be so completely surprised that all I could do would be to stare and wonder, “Wow, did that really just happen?” Now, how many of you long for the fairy tale type story, where Prince Charming rides in on his white horse, sweeps you off your feet, and you both live happily ever after? I know it might sound kind of funny, but even as a 24 year old woman, I do too. In fact, I believe that we all long for the perfect man to come, tell us how beautiful we are, and love us forever. We long for this man to fill a deep longing for love and companionship that we all possess. While the story sounds wonderful and we all get excited at the mere thought of it coming true, we all start to “beat ourselves up” when it doesn’t. In fact, we get so down on ourselves that we immediately think that we’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not worthy of love. Why is that? We’re all smart women…we all believe in God. We have the great and true lover of our souls to back us up, hold us tight, and love us forever…and yet….we still let the world tell us we’re not good enough. Think just a second on why you think that is….

In one of my all-time favorite books, Captivating, (which you should all read, by the way) the authors say that, "A woman's struggle with her sense of worth points to something glorious she was designed to be. The great emptiness we feel points to the great place we were created for.” To me this reinforces the point that only God can fill the great emptiness that we can all feel at times. God is the true lover of our souls and is already the best there is. Why would we want anything different? In the Bible, God gives us one of the best love stories of all time. Through the book Song of Songs He writes, “You are all-beautiful, my beloved and there is no blemish in you.” I’m going to read it again…a little bit more slowly…and as I do, let it really sink in. “You are all-beautiful, my beloved and there is no blemish in you.” Ladies, the all-powerful, all-loving God who created Heaven and Earth not only loves us but he sees us as all beautiful. In His eyes we are perfect. How amazing is that? Think about it…the God who created the trees, the birds, the air, the sky….He thinks we’re all perfect and already loves us deeper and to a greater extent then we’ll ever be able to comprehend. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s pretty amazing. Now, what can we do to start really knowing and believing that?

I know what you might be thinking right now…. “Here comes the part where she talks about not believing the lies the media tells us…the images we see in magazines, the models portrayed on TV…blah blah blah.” While these points are all very true, that’s now what I’m going to talk about today because I feel like you already know it. You’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it twice…probably a million times. Rather than just knowing that we need to not believe in these things, we need to pray to God daily and ask Him to reveal His love to us, to help us recognize the great beauty and love that we were all made for. You have to remember…in God’s eyes we are like royalty. Yes…royalty. If God is the king of the universe that means that we are his princesses. We are the princesses that He wants to send out on a great mission, to help spread His love to the world. In Song of Songs 7:2, God says, “How beautiful are your feet in sandals, oh Prince’s daughter.” God longs for us to realize this…that He sees every part of us as beautiful…in order that we might show our love and radiant beauty to His kingdom.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I know that this is all much easier said than done. It all sounds fine and dandy until we are actually faced with having to get out in the world and live it. The minute we get on the natural “God high” and feel like everything is going to really work out is the time that the king of darkness, the devil himself, comes to try to feed us all of the world’s lies again. The devil knocks us down and tries to make us feel like we are worthless. It is at this point that I feel it is important to incorporate another quote from Captivating. The authors note that, “You really won't understand your life as a woman until you understand this: You are passionately loved by the God of the universe. You are passionately hated by his enemy.” (Think of how strong of a word ‘passionately’ is and everything that we so often associate with it). While I know this line does sound a little bit scary, there also comes some good news. Ladies…we are a force to be reckoned with. We are so beautiful, perfect, and ultimately powerful in the eyes of our Heavenly Father that the devil is scared of us. The prince of darkness is scared….of us. So…hold your heads up high ladies and be proud. Our beauty is some pretty powerful stuff.

Perhaps one of the greatest examples of examples of love and what it means to be a great woman of dignity is Mother Teresa. She was all about living simply and showing love to every person no matter what the circumstance. In her book A Simple Path she says, “We have all been created for greater things-to love and to be loved. Love is love-to love a person without any conditions, without any expectations. Works of love are works of peace and purity. Works of love are always a means of becoming closer to God, so the more we help each other, the more we really love God better by loving each other. Jesus very clearly said, ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’ Love in action is what gives us grace. We pray and, if we are able to love with a whole heart, then we will see the need… Those who are unwanted, unloved, and uncared for become just a throwaway of society-that’s why we must really make everybody feel wanted.”

Within this quote, I feel like Mother Teresa is reinforcing God’s mission for us: to use our beauty and power as women to go out and change the world one person at a time. God gave us a special mission, ladies. He created us, specifically as women to share His love with the world. How can we truly do that if we love only those who love us? God calls us to go deeper, to look beyond our own personal wants, feelings, and comfort zones and use our beauty and power to serve those that may be the hardest to show love to. The greatest part? …He is there to back us up all the way. Our Father, the king of Heaven and Earth, is there to help us, His all-beautiful princesses, through all of life’s demands.

In closing, I really want to challenge all of you to take some time to not only slow down and look at all the beauty God has surrounded us with, but also to take the time to slow and really let the fact that God created us all as all-beautiful sink it. Go for a walk with a friend, spend some out in nature, spend an hour in adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament….whatever it takes. God is ready to send us all on a wonderful mission. In fact, in Song of Songs 2:13 He actually says, “Arise my beloved, my beautiful one, and come!”

Why I chose to start blogging....

Recently, through different ways, I've been shown that I have a gift of listening and sharing. I seem to be able to really "reach people" through my work as a future therapist, my work in the ministry field, and just the way I live my daily life. I decided to start sharing some of my work and/or thoughts that come up. Enjoy!